Bonus Episode: Mila's Birth Story with Alyssa and Zach

 

00:00:00    Alyssa

Hey there, I'm Alyssa Blask Campbell. I'm a mom with a master's degree in early childhood education and co -creator of the Collaborative Emotion Processing Method. I'm here to walk alongside you through the messy, vulnerable parts of being humans raising other humans with deep thoughts and actionable tips. Let's dive in together. 

 

00:00:28    Alyssa

All right, here we go.  I am here today with two special guests, I get to bring Zach, my husband, on today, and our little Mila Bean is snoozing in a carrier on me, at least for now, which is bonkers because Sage, our first, would have never snoozed in this room with a light on and me talking. 

 

00:00:57    Zach

And still wouldn't. 

 

00:00:58    Alyssa

Still wouldn't, yeah. Never would still wouldn't. Oh man, they're each their own person. Well, today we get to chat about Mila's birth story. Today is Zach's last day of parental leave. Really brought this one down to the wire to record. 

 

00:01:17    Zach

Yes, like anything, any good work. 

 

00:01:22    Alyssa

Right, down to the wire. I, first wanna give a glimpse into her pregnancy, I guess. With Sage it was such a long journey to his conception and sustained pregnancy that it was kind of bonkers with her. We had found out with him that when I took progesterone to get pregnant and then took it through the first trimester, I could stay pregnant, get pregnant and stay pregnant. And there were some pregnancy losses to learn that, but then learned that and had Sagey and so going in with her I took progesterone the very first time and it worked. 

 

00:02:11    Zach

It worked. I kind of had a feeling that it was going to be a different journey to Mila than it was to Sagey. 

 

00:02:24    Alyssa

Yeah well your feeling was right. I was shocked. Like, just, yeah, there was a part of me, I think, that didn't want to kind of hope for that, I guess, in fear of not getting that. And... 

 

00:02:39    Zach

That's why I'm just mentioning it now. 

 

00:02:41    Alyssa

Yeah, strong choice. But so yeah, we, our first round of tryin', we got pregnant with Mila, which was faster than I anticipated, and I got to reach out to Harper and say, hi, I know I'm publishing a book in the fall, and I'm gonna be 32 weeks pregnant when that happens, which was hilarious little message to send. But yeah, we were jazzed. Her pregnancy, my first trimester was so much easier. And second, like actually physically way easier. But I felt, I kept saying bloated, like all pregnancy, physically on that side of things, I just felt like bigger and bloated in every-- I feel like I got a positive test and had like a bump immediately, like and did end up just like carrying her so differently than I did him, which then checks out because we go into-- the end of pregnancy with both kids, I have hated. My like hips hurt. I can't lay down. I'm so physically uncomfortable with her I had really bad acid reflux at the end. She was really high the whole time. 

 

00:03:55    Zach

You did seem to hate the end of both pregnancies similarly. 

 

00:03:59    Alyssa

Correct. 

 

00:03:59    Zach

Yeah. 

 

00:03:59    Alyssa

Yeah, I don't love that. And Sagey was 41 and five, and I had done a castor oil smoothie the day, went into labor with him, it put me into labor. And so with her, they had said I was really effaced at like 38 weeks. We were planning a home birth again like we did with Sage and yeah at 38 weeks I was really effaced and then I got COVID and we were like okay just stay put and then yeah but I was like zero centimeters dilated all that jazz and very similar to Sage again. 

 

00:04:42    Zach

Which didn't necessarily give us any-- it didn't make me think that it was going to take any longer, because we knew. 

 

00:04:51    Alyssa

Right. Well, Sagey's birth was so fast. And so, and that's what the midwife said this time too, like, once this baby drops down onto your cervix, it's go time, that I was like, so effaced and ready to rock there. So, I had just like, had it in my mind, like I was like, you know what? I have a feeling I'm gonna end up taking castor oil again, that otherwise I think Sage would still be in my body. And that's what gets my labors going. And our midwives basically said like, any time after 40 weeks was fine if I wanted to take it. And just obviously to give them a heads up. 

 

00:05:31    Mila

[Baby groans]

 

00:05:35    Alyssa

You have thoughts on that Mila? And I was planning on taking it on a Monday, which would have been 40 and 6. And I was planning to do it on Monday because Sage would be in school so we would drop him off and then if it worked, great, Nana would pick him up and he would have a sleepover at Nana's and if it didn't work, great, we would pick him up from school.  And then as we got closer on that Friday beforehand, my parents, who live six hours away, and were planning to come for the birth and stay for a week, my dad was like, hey, what do you think the odds are that this is going to work on Monday? And I was like, oh, that's not how babies work. I don't know. I would love to say 100%, but I don't know. Why? And he was like, well, it looks like we're getting snow and there's going to be a bit of a storm on Monday. So if you think it's gonna work, would it be cool if we maybe came out this weekend so that we were there? And then as I was looking at the weather, I was like, oh yikes, yeah, I don't want people traveling in the snow. Maybe I'll take it on Sunday. And once that entered my brain, I was like, I'm taking it. 

 

00:06:56    Zach

Having a baby on Sunday. 

 

00:06:59    Alyssa

100%. Yes. And so my parents came in on Saturday and stayed the night. And then Rach and Erika from our seed team, Rach had been at Sagey's birth. They were coming from Maine and so Sunday morning they texted and were like, I think we're just gonna come out, even if it doesn't work, whatever, we'll stay and just get snowed in with you. But they knew how fast Sagey's had been and it was gonna be like a four and a half, five hour trip for them from Maine. And so yeah, we wake up Sunday morning. I'm like ready to go. We had a whole plan in place and I started the castor oil smoothie at 9:30. I ate a really big breakfast that that morning which I then deeply regretted, because the castor oil smoothie is really filling, and I was like choking it down because-- not because it was super gross, but because I was so full. 

 

00:08:01    Zach

Did your dad make breakfast? 

 

00:08:03    Alyssa

Yeah. And it like said on the instructions to eat a full meal beforehand. 

 

00:08:09    Zach

Oh, it did? 

 

00:08:10    Alyssa

Yeah. And I like really took that to heart. 

 

00:08:13    Zach

Yeah. 

 

00:08:15    Alyssa

And I regretted that, because I was like literally like gagging, choking it down. But at like 10, you brought Sagey over to your mom's house. 

 

00:08:23    Zach

Yep. 

 

00:08:26    Alyssa

And the sisters, Eric and Rach were already on the road. 

 

00:08:29    Zach

Yeah 

 

00:08:30    Alyssa

My parents had gotten here Saturday night. So they were here. Sagey went over and we just sent like all of his sleep stuff in case he didn't come back. 

 

00:08:38    Zach

Mm -hmm 

 

00:08:40    Alyssa

Sagey-- we live like a mile from Zach's mom, and so Sagey has stayed there before, he has Nana Fridays for childcare, they're really close and it felt like such a perfect fit.

 

00:08:54    Zach

Totally 

 

00:08:55    Alyssa

And so we're like, all right, we'll do nap there and then keep you posted and when you got back, like 10:30 -ish?

 

00:09:03    Zach

We took a walk. 

 

00:09:04    Alyssa

Yeah, 10:30, 11, we went on a walk with my mom where I had. 

 

00:09:09    Zach

Braxton Hicks. 

 

00:09:10    Alyssa

The entire time. 

 

00:09:11    Zach

The entire time, yeah. 

 

00:09:12    Alyssa

Just an incredibly hard uterus the entire time. That hill at the end, towards the end was not lovely. And we got back and I was like feeling, I think disheartened, where I was like ugh. I didn't go into labor, and with Sagey, I just did. With Sagey, I took it, we went on a walk, and then two hours later, my water broke, and it was like off to the races. And so, when like 11:30 hit, and it was like the two hour mark, and I didn't go into labor yet, I was like, ughhhh, it's not gonna work.

 

00:09:47    Mila

[Baby Coos]

 

00:09:48    Alyssa

Hi, beans. [kissing sound] And then, I like also then was like, okay, but I didn't finish the smoothie til like 10:30 because I had to choke it down, so I'm like, all right, if by 12:30 I haven't gone into labor, then the thing was I could like do another smoothie. And I was like, all right, I'll go lay down, take a nap. I like couldn't fall asleep. Also, once I laid down, she was just moving around. That's her favorite thing to do. And we laid down though and rested and then at 12:30 I was like, okay, I'll go choke down another one of these smoothies. 

 

00:10:25    Zach

You looked, I thought you were gonna puke. 

 

00:10:27    Alyssa

It- I was full. 

 

00:10:29    Zach

Yeah, you like you had sort of a white sheet look for a bit. 

 

00:10:36    Alyssa

Great yeah, I was like, I'm full 

 

00:10:39    Zach

Because the smoothie did work in one capacity

 

00:10:43    Alyssa

Correct. So then when I got up from that nap, then I had some diarrhea. 

 

00:10:48    Zach

Yeah 

 

00:10:49    Alyssa

Which is what castor oil does 

 

00:10:50    Zach

Yeah 

 

00:10:51    Alyssa

But didn't happen with Sage

 

00:10:52    Zach

No 

 

00:10:53    Alyssa

 And but I hadn't eaten a big breakfast either with Sage. But so that started to happen and then at 1:00 or just before one,  I took my first sip of the next smoothie, had diarrhea, came back to take another sip and was like I think that's a contraction. And with Sage I had zero early labor. 

 

00:11:19    Zach

Yeah, 

 

00:11:20    Alyssa

Literally zero there was no like oh I'm like talking in between contractions and hanging out or whatever. 

 

00:11:28    Zach

It threw me off, with Sage, yeah. 

 

00:11:28    Alyssa

Yeah, my expectation was that with Sage and then we didn't have that. It was just like off to the races. And so with this I was like, is it a contraction? Let's see. And it definitely like for the first time, because I've had so many Braxton Hicks with her starting like 20 weeks, all of a sudden there was an arc where it was like, okay, it increases, it peaks, it comes back down. And so I started timing them on the app. 

 

00:11:55    Zach

And immediately 'go to the hospital'. 

 

00:11:57    Alyssa

Correct. 

 

00:11:58    Zach

'Go to the hospital'. 

 

00:11:59    Alyssa

It was like, yeah, after like the first few, because the longest I had in between contractions ever with her was five minutes. And that didn't last very long. They moved to three pretty quickly. 

 

00:12:09    Zach

Yeah. 

 

00:12:10    Alyssa

Like three minutes in between. But they were about a minute long and I would just sit on the yoga ball and I would rock back and forth and I didn't want anyone to talk to me or touch me or talk around me. And for that minute, and then it would pass and I could chat and hang out. And so I was like, oh, this is chill. You can chat and hang out in between contractions. How fun. And Rach and Erica got there 2:30 -ish. 

 

00:12:36    Zach

Yeah, but I think your mom and I, we got that tub going. 

 

00:12:40    Alyssa

Yeah, my parents set it up. 

 

00:12:42    Zach

Your parents did. 

 

00:12:43    Alyssa

They set it up. 

 

00:12:44    Zach

They set it up. I did the hose. 

 

00:12:46    Alyssa

You did the hose, yeah. My parents got it set up. I think when you were bringing Sage over, but they set it up at like 10. So that it was all set and ready to go and then all you would have to do is fill it. So you guys went up and filled it, you and my mom. That's right, because I was downstairs with just my dad for a little bit and he did not recognize when I was having a contraction where I would just like, I wouldn't announce it, I would just like go quiet, I would close my eyes, I would breathe through it and I was on the yoga ball and he kept talking to me. And at one point I turned to him and I said, when my eyes are closed and I'm breathing, I want you to please stop talking and it was like in that tone and he was like, okay, okay. Then he was like Margaret I just got yelled at. Yeah, so that and then Rachel think I think they got there around 2:30, Midwives got there like 3, and I got in the tub at 3.

 

00:13:44    Zach

Yep 

 

00:13:46    Alyssa

And I was like, oh, this feels so nice. 

 

00:13:49    Zach

So like first contraction was 1:00, 

 

00:13:50    Alyssa

1:00

 

00:13:51    Zach

So a couple hours. 

 

00:13:52    Alyssa

Couple hours, I got in the tub, and yeah, I was like, oh, this is nice, this is super nice. I was waiting for the midwives to get there to get in the tub, because I didn't know the rules. 

 

00:14:04    Zach

That's not like you. 

 

00:14:05    Alyssa

I know, that's really not like me. And the rest of this entire birth story, I did not follow any rules, or care about them. And yeah, at like three, Ivy Rose was like, you can get in the tub if you want. And I was like, oh, sick. And I got in and was like, oh, this is dope. I love this. 

 

00:14:23    Zach

And that felt like a huge victory just to get to the point of getting in the tub. 

 

00:14:27    Alyssa

I really wanted it for Sage and we ran-- there was no time. Everything was too fast. Yes, that was huge.

 

00:14:33    Zach

 It felt like we really learned from that experience. 

 

00:14:36    Alyssa

Correct. 

 

00:14:37    Zach

Executed well. 

 

00:14:37    Alyssa

Have the tub set up as you're taking castor oil. And yeah, so then when I was in the tub, the midwives were like getting everything just kind of set up, unpacking their kit. The birth photographer came over, her name is Anna. My mom, so it was my mom, you, Rach, Erika, the birth photographer, Anna, and then Ivy Rose, and Emmy. We used, for any local Burlington folks or Vermont folks, they're in the Montpelier area, and have an office in Burlington, Threshold Midwifery, and absolutely loved our experience with them. But I remember Emmy and Ivy Rose were in the hallway and I'm in the tub, and all of a sudden I feel the pop. And I was like, oh, somebody let the midwives know my water just broke. And I'm like, in the tub. And so they pop in. After that, that was at 3:30. There was no fun between contractions. Everything got pretty intense right away. 

 

00:15:44    Zach

Yeah, that was like, oh, I remember this. 

 

00:15:46    Alyssa

That is what Sage's labor had been the whole time. I liked being in the water, but I also found it hard to like--

 

00:15:54    Zach

Grip

 

00:15:54    Alyssa

 --Bear down and grip. Yeah, everything kind of felt slippery. And there's like handles and stuff, but with Sage, I'd been standing and squatting. And the joke was that with Sage, we were in a rental unit that was furnished and they had said, like, 

 

00:16:10    Zach

When we moved in--

 

00:16:10    Alyssa

The only thing, yeah when we moved in, the only thing we care about in this space is this dresser. 

 

00:16:16    Zach

Like came over on the Mayflower or something. This old dresser.

 

00:16:17    Alyssa

Like an heirloom dresser. We were like, great, great, great. And then during his labor, all I wanted was to be standing at that dresser and pulling, like bearing down and squatting. 

 

00:16:26    Zach

Pulling that dresser apart. 

 

00:16:28    Alyssa

And it was so funny because the birth pool was set up and the only thing I wanted, I leaned over to your dresser and held on to the handles. 

 

00:16:39    Zach

Couldn't resist. 

 

00:16:40    Alyssa

I'm like, give me a dresser when I'm in labor and I'm good. But yeah, so I was doing that through contractions and tried a couple different positions. Mostly wanted to be like on my knees, like leaning over the side of the tub, holding on to the dresser. And then I tried at one point. 

 

00:17:03    Zach

You didn't have a great grip on that dresser ever. It had weird handles too, so. 

 

00:17:07    Alyssa

Yeah, and I just--

 

00:17:08    Zach

I saw you tryin' and I was like, hmm..

 

00:17:10    Alyssa

But I well then I tried to flip over and like lean back and I hated that.

 

00:17:15    Zach

 You did. It's true. Yeah, 

 

00:17:17    Alyssa

Like videos of humans like oh they're like leaning back in a tub and they're like pulling their own baby out whenever it's like peaceful. This is not me.

 

00:17:26    Zach

No.

 

00:17:27    Alyssa

There's nothing peaceful about me giving birth. It's not a peaceful experience.  I scream through every contraction, scream where like my throat is hoarse for days after. 

 

00:17:44    Zach

Yeah what it's it's a pretty primal thing

 

00:17:48    Alyssa

Uh -huh 

 

00:17:49    Zach

Yeah 

 

00:17:49    Alyssa

Yeah 

 

00:17:50    Zach

Yeah

 

00:17:51    Alyssa

I said-- 

 

00:17:51    Zach

Yeah it's like a unique scream 

 

00:17:53    Alyssa

Yeah I said afterward to Rach and Erika like I don't understand people who like aren't loud during birth and they were both like 'yeah we didn't make a lot of noise' I'm like how? How does that happen? Like I'm I'm so not in control of this, it just comes out. Hi, beans. Yeah, so I like, whatever, that wasn't comfortable. And so I'm in the water this whole time and every time the midwives were trying to get like a heart tone, like popping that Doppler down to try and listen to her heart, every time a contraction would start and they had, I didn't want to be touched at all, even outside of having contractions. I wanted somebody to delicately lay cold wash cloths on the back of my neck and my head without putting any pressure on my body and then get out of there.

 

00:18:43    Zach

That was the phrase of the, phrase of the afternoon

 

00:18:46    Alyssa

Every time they put that Doppler down to try and check her heart. 

 

00:18:49    Zach

Nope. 

 

00:18:50    Alyssa

Nope. Nope. Get out of here. Get out of here. It just comes out of my mouth. It is so-- I don't like being touched when I'm, which is so funny because I love being touched when I'm not in labor. But yeah, so she, I just kept yelling at everybody to not touch me. And I also was like, in my head, was like, is there a point at which they're like, we have to check her heart, and we have to figure this out. But I could feel her moving, and I was like, I've got this. You know, and they really like trusted me and let me do my thing. 

 

00:19:29    Zach

You can, as with all the primal screaming and the popping and things, you, I never felt like, well, one, we'd had Sage's experience, but also like the midwives are there and it's almost like they just can't even hear it because they're just like on their laptop, making notes, like conversing with each other. And you look at them and you're like, because you're like fully screaming five feet away and they're just like sitting there, just like [typing noise]

 

00:20:04    Alyssa

Calm 

 

00:20:04    Zach

And yeah, so really well it this must be just how it goes.

 

00:20:11    Alyssa

Yeah they're not stressed.

 

00:20:12    Zach

Nothing to worry about.

 

00:20:13    Alyssa

Yeah yeah I also like in between contractions I never looked up. I feel like my head was just like buried in the side of that pool, but I was still very sarcastic which is--I'm a sarcastic human

 

00:20:29    Zach

You can't take the-- it's just so in there. 

 

00:20:32    Alyssa

Such a part of me. Yeah, at one point I said, like, oh, I want to tap out. And the midwife was like, she wants what? Like, what? And Erika was like, oh, she's asking for somebody else to please give birth now. She would like to be done. 

 

00:20:46    Zach

But I think it was either right before then or right after then where you had, like, you were pushing and we could start to tell. And you had, like, a change in your scream. I like caught Rach's eye and because that's what you were doing for Sage's birth when she arrived and asked if you were pushing, asked me--

 

00:21:10    Alyssa

And you said I dont think so

 

00:21:10    Zach

And it turns out you were, and so then when I heard it this time I looked at her and I was like oh, she was pushing. 

 

00:21:19    Alyssa

That's the sound. 

 

00:21:21    Zach

Yeah and she was like yes. 

 

00:21:25    Alyssa

And she is pushing now. So I then at one point said like how much longer and that was when I was on my back still before I'd flipped back over to my hands and knees and when I said how much longer and Emmy said that I was like making good progress, obviously they can't see anything, like--

 

00:21:44    Zach

No 

 

00:21:45    Alyssa

I'm not letting anyone near me 

 

00:21:46    Zach

Yeah 

 

00:21:47    Alyssa

And so they're going based off of the sounds I'm making, and she was like you're making great progress and like bearing down but there it's not like imminent like there isn't a head yet and I think my like Enneagram 3 self, my like achiever self, was like well then let's go. And so I flipped over onto hands and knees and like was holding, I held your hands this time--

 

00:22:18    Zach

Yeah which shocked me when you grabbed my hand and for a second I was like oh no does she think that she's grabbing a dresser and accidentally grabbed my hand? But then I just didn't quash it, I just went with it. 

 

00:22:30    Alyssa

Yeah, that's the right move. And I, that's when my pushing shifted, where I was like, okay, game on, let's go. And I pushed in like the way of like, I'm getting this baby out, and her head came out. 

 

00:22:46    Zach

Yeah, and I knew that, because you said that after Sage's, when you had a push that you were like, oh, that's what it feels like, I knew that when you felt the urge to push that you were just gonna-- 

 

00:23:01    Alyssa

Go for it 

 

00:23:01    Zach

Its your nature, you're like, I'm gonna take the information I learned and apply it to the next time I do it and yeah, so yeah, you probably had like two, two or three pushes at that point and everyone like got a little bit more intense and yeah, like I was like, I think I think she's not gonna be pushing that long.

 

00:23:20    Alyssa

 Yeah I think it was like two of those pushes and her head came out. 

 

00:23:24    Zach

Yeah.

 

00:23:25    Alyssa

And then from the time her head comes out until the time her whole body's born is two minutes and 18 seconds I think was what they told us? And I only know that because these are the craziest two minutes of eight and 18 seconds. Maybe of my life. 

 

00:23:40    Zach

It was yeah, it ranked for sure.

 

00:23:43    Alyssa

So her heads out, and I-- I don't remember exactly how this transpired, but the midwife said, I don't know if her head wasn't turning or something, but the midwife said, I think it's time to get out of the pool. And I said no. 

 

00:24:00    Zach

Her head was out, and they said if she doesn't come out on the next one-- 

 

00:24:05    Alyssa

That was the second thing. First they said, I think it's time to get out of the pool, and I said no. 

 

00:24:09    Zach

I'm getting ahead, I'm sorry. 

 

00:24:10    Alyssa

That's okay. But I don't know what led to them saying that. But then I just said no, in true Alyssa fashion, where I'm like, no, and--

 

00:24:19    Zach

I'm good, thanks. 

 

00:24:20    Alyssa

Yeah, I want to be right here. And then she said, okay, if she doesn't come out in the next contraction, then we gotta get out of the pool. And the next contraction happened, and I, it was just like so primal for me, but like I felt that she wasn't moving the way that she should move. Because with Sagey, it was like - 

 

00:24:42    Zach

It was a huge push. 

 

00:24:43    Alyssa

It was a huge push, and she didn't shift. 

 

00:24:46    Zach

Yeah, yeah. 

 

00:24:47    Alyssa

And with Sagey, it was like, once his head came out, then I one more push and got the rest of him out, and here I just felt her like not shift in the way that she needed to shift, and so I said I need help. 

 

00:24:59    Zach

Yeah.

 

00:25:00    Alyssa

And they said, okay get out of the pool and they also, so primal

 

00:25:03    Zach

Them saying get out of the pool, to you getting out of the pool was...

 

00:25:06    Alyssa

-- half a second 

 

00:25:08    Zach

Yeah, it was like--

 

00:25:10    Alyssa

I like leapt.

 

00:25:10    Zach

They said it and then I think you even said how am I gonna do this? And then you just stood up like there was a leg coming over the side towards me 

 

00:25:18    Alyssa

Yeah, a head hanging out of me. 

 

00:25:20    Zach

Uh, yeah. Oh yeah. 

 

00:25:23    Alyssa

And I got down, there's a tarp underneath the pool, and I got down. 

 

00:25:28    Zach

Which looked like such a small tarp when you came flying out of there. 

 

00:25:34    Alyssa

And they, I just said like, what do I do? And they put my body into the position, it was in running start position, so like one leg was up, the other knee is down, like if I'm gonna, if I'm down on like blocks, so I'm gonna start a race. Running start position. 

 

00:25:50    Zach

You're just taking a knee. 

 

00:25:52    Alyssa

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess, I don't know. And I think it's called running start. 

 

00:25:58    Zach

Whatever position. 

 

00:25:59    Alyssa

Anyway, I'm down there, and then on that next contraction. 

 

00:26:05    Zach

So you're, well, hang on. You're down there. There's just like dripping water and fluids everywhere, and there's a face sticking out, 

 

00:26:16    Alyssa

Yeah, 

 

00:26:16    Zach

Full face 

 

00:26:17    Alyssa

Looking at you. 

 

00:26:18    Zach

And I was right-- yeah, and and yeah, I kind of had I was right there yeah, and yeah, so her face is there and I see Emmy's like get your leg up and yeah, it that was like that's where it got super intense because you're like screaming pretty much non -stop because you weren't waiting for pushes at that point.

 

00:26:41    Alyssa

And just like, I had this urge-- the urge to push didn't go away. Like it was staying, but she wasn't moving. And I didn't feel scared. It just was like, I have this urge to push and it's not, and she's not moving. And so Emmy went in and - 

 

00:26:58    Zach

Well, I heard somebody say something about like hand or shoulder, like being stuck. And at that point, I think Emmy said, like I heard the word shoulder. I heard the words like gonna help and then you're just screaming and then I I just saw I mean at that point I kind of realized like oh, she's gonna like have to- 

 

00:27:20    Alyssa

Get in there 

 

00:27:21    Zach

Get in there

 

00:27:21    Alyssa

 Yeah 

 

00:27:22    Zach

And help coax and then as she started doing that I could kind of see the hand up there and I was like, oh, 

 

00:27:27    Alyssa

Yeah 

 

00:27:27    Zach

Once that comes out--

 

00:27:29    Alyssa

Which matches all of her ultrasounds where her hand is a right up by her face like nuzzled right in there and I'm sure I don't have recollection of Emmy saying like I gotta go in and pull her shoulder, but I-- 

 

00:27:40    Zach

I just kind of knew that was what would have to happen

 

00:27:42    Alyssa

I fully believe she did say it because she, everything she did was so consensual, where she would let me know like you're gonna feel my touch here, you're gonna whatever--

 

00:27:50    Mila

[baby squeal]

 

00:27:55    Alyssa

Ohhh, yeah, it was a wild time, is this bringing back some mems?  And I was screaming no stop get away just instinctually but also was like no keep going like, I need you to get her out, like she was stuck. So she had shoulder dystocia, she was stuck. Her arm, her hand was up like next to her shoulder. Emmy went in and tried to swipe her shoulder out and help her like get out from under my pubic bone and her hand moved, like her arm moved but her shoulder didn't. So then she had to go in again and got her shoulder out. And then once she got her shoulder out, she just came out. 

 

00:28:27    Zach

I remember seeing it slip out and I was like, oh, here she comes. 

 

00:28:29    Alyssa

Yeah. 

 

00:28:30    Zach

And then. Sure enough. Wa-bow. 

 

00:28:32    Alyssa

And then a huge gush of fluid behind her. 

 

00:28:35    Zach

Yeah, 

 

00:28:35    Alyssa

And they just kept saying like wow you had so much fluid and so she came out and we're on the tarp and just like I needed like a minute to catch my breath. 

 

00:28:47    Zach

Yeah, 

 

00:28:48    Alyssa

It was like I was feeling whoo, and I snuggled her up and it's maybe 20 seconds before she cries not long at all 

 

00:28:57    Zach

She didn't-- somebody said you can talk to her and you said hi and as soon as you said hi, she started crying. 

 

00:29:03    Alyssa

Yeah 

 

00:29:03    Zach

Which was... a meaningful moment

 

00:29:04    Alyssa

Very cute. Yeah, and my dad had taken a video of that. Like once she was already out, my dad got a video of me like holding her, the me saying hi, her first cry, and then scanned the room and you just see like, Erika and my mom in the corner sobbing. 

 

00:29:25    Zach

I didn't notice that at all. 

 

00:29:26    Alyssa

Rachel looked fazed, like, I mean, it was such a wild end. 

 

00:29:30    Zach

It was wild, yeah. 

 

00:29:31    Alyssa

And then it was like fun. And I said what time is it and my dad said it's 4:30 and I think she was marked down at 4:35 arrival time but the Chiefs game was on at 4:30 and I said I hope, earlier that morning, I was like I hope she's here and we can just snuggle up and watch the Chiefs game. And so my dad said 4:30 and I was like oh my gosh she knew uh we can watch some football this afternoon and-- 

 

00:29:59    Zach

We did not end up watching football. 

 

00:30:00    Alyssa

We did not. No, we didn't. Not because anything else happened. It was pretty non -eventful. 

 

00:30:04    Zach

Just to have the choice to watch football. 

 

00:30:07    Alyssa

But just have the choice, yeah. Wanted 

 

00:30:08    Alyssa

to be done. Wanted to get game updates. And yeah, then we sat down on the tarp. And I just leaned back into you and held her. And at that point, someone said, wow, she's so big. And I had no, like, I couldn't remember how babies, Sagey was 8' 6  or 8' 7. and so also not like a teeny tiny little babe but not giant, and then we moved up to the bed and we got to have an hour of like, oh we I think got the placenta out up and on the bed, yeah we did that up on the bed, and then we got to have an hour of just hanging me you and her and chilling before anything else was really done. And then they did you know assessed me assessed her she pooped all over my stomach. And then we weighed her and she was 9 pounds, 12 ounces, 10 ounces? 

 

00:31:11    Zach

9 '12. 

 

00:31:12    Alyssa

9 '12. 21 and a half inches long. Yeah and doing great. She like cried until I changed. I had worn a like nursing bra throughout the whole thing that got wet and then it was cold, which I didn't even think like, oh, she's laying in a cold piece of clothing right now. Once I changed that and she was warm, she was like, all right. 

 

00:31:36    Zach

Cozied right up. 

 

00:31:37    Alyssa

Yep, and still to this day loves to be cozy. 

 

00:31:40    Zach

Mm -hmm. Yeah. Yeah, it was like, it was. 

 

00:31:47    Alyssa

Three and a half hours start to finish. 

 

00:31:49    Zach

Yeah, like it was definitely, I mean, for that two minute stretch, 

 

00:31:55    Alyssa

Mm -hmm 

 

00:31:56    Zach

Wilder than Sage's, but having something to compare it to like most of it felt way more chill-- like it almost was too-- 

 

00:32:05    Alyssa

There was only an hour of like intense--

 

00:32:06    Zach

--  it almost was like too-- you're like wow, this is just going too according to schedule,

 

00:32:14    Alyssa

So very me

 

00:32:15    Zach

You know you never can plan on those things

 

00:32:20    Alyssa

Emmy was like we don't usually have planned like inductions for home births, but I feel like that's what this was. 

 

00:32:26    Zach

That was as close as you can get, yeah. Yeah, no, it was, um, that was, to me, like, leading up to it, was kind of the... Obviously, with Sage, we didn't have another kid to think about it, and, you know, that was, like, a piece, just knowing him, too, and, like, how he really wouldn't want to be experiencing that, yeah, 

 

00:32:47    Alyssa

Does not like loud noices. Or unpredictability. 

 

00:32:48    Zach

--didn't know if you'd go right into, like, if you would skip early labor again, and, like, it would get real really quick, so like that was huge peace of mind to just be like able to have him having a good time somewhere else and like it helped it definitely helped be more like, helped us both I think be more present to like--

 

00:33:09    Alyssa

Totally

 

00:33:09    Zach

 Just the whole...

 

00:33:10    Mila

[baby peep] 

 

00:33:12    Alyssa

Do you wanna nurse? Yeah totally and the midwives were there for about four hours and then they left. 

 

00:33:21    Zach

They were there for six or seven. 

 

00:33:24    Alyssa

No, they left at like 8:30. Oh, they went downstairs and they like ate food and then they checked back in on us and stuff. 

 

00:33:30    Zach

I only know that because I went down and was talking to them about how long they were usually at a home birth and they said about eight and I said oh yeah so this would be like six or seven. 

 

00:33:42    Alyssa

Oh yeah total, but I mean four hours after she was born. 

 

00:33:45    Zach

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 

 

00:33:47    Alyssa

Yeah. 

 

00:33:47    Zach

Yes. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff to do after the baby's born for the midwives. 

 

00:33:56    Alyssa

Well, they also clean up. They break down the tub. 

 

00:33:59    Zach

A lot of stuff. 

 

00:34:00    Alyssa

The sheets are changed on the bed, all that sort of jazz. Yeah, all the documentation and assessment of her, assessment of me. I had hemorrhaged with Sage. and with her, I didn't lose a lot of blood and actually barely tore, which was shocking. I thought it was gonna be way worse because they had to go in and pull out her shoulder, but I think being in the pool was helpful. I think it just made everything-- 

 

00:34:30    Zach

Stretchy. 

 

00:34:31    Alyssa

Stretchy. Yeah.

 

00:34:32    Mila

[happy grunting nursing noises]

 

00:34:32    Alyssa

I was so grateful. So grateful. 

 

00:34:35    Zach

For sure, man, if we hadn't had the pool. 

 

00:34:38    Alyssa

Yeah, would have been gnarly, I think. 

 

00:34:40    Zach

Coulda been a different story, yeah. 

 

00:34:41    Alyssa

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Any thoughts or feelings afterward? 

 

00:34:47    Mila

[happy grunting nursing noises]

 

00:34:50    Zach

Yeah, you know, just, you're always so happy when the baby is healthy and everything, you know, she gets out of there and when you're doing well and she's doing well, you just, I mean, that's all you really, that's all I really care about. 

 

00:35:09    Alyssa

Yeah. 

 

00:35:10    Zach

And so to like then have that is really nice. And yeah, no, I mean, I've only, we've only had two home births, so I really liked our first experience. I really liked this one too. I think, yeah, would keep doing it if like it was low risk and. 

 

00:35:32    Alyssa

Sure, and if I wanted to have more kids. 

 

00:35:35    Zach

Yeah, no, hypothetically speaking, if. 

 

00:35:37    Alyssa

I did say in labor with both of them. With Sagey, I was like, this can be an only child. And then with her, I was like, we're done at two. 

 

00:35:45    Zach

But yeah, no, I think it's just really nice to be in your space the whole time. And then just right after, just get right into your bed and be there and be comfortable and not have to be thinking about additional logistics on that end. And yeah, no, I mean, we did have a lot of people there, but they were all the people that you wanted to have there and... 

 

00:36:11    Alyssa

And I wouldn't change it at all. 

 

00:36:13    Zach

No, I wouldn't either. Yeah. Yeah. 

 

00:36:19    Alyssa

[patting baby on the back] And then she, she was doing well. She had jaundice like Sagey did. 

 

00:36:26    Zach

Yep. 

 

00:36:27    Alyssa

And... 

 

00:36:27    Zach

Which I think we both fully expected. 

 

00:36:29    Alyssa

Yeah. And I think felt more prepared to just like, be like, yeah, we're gonna nurse and as long as she's not lethargic and showing other symptoms besides being yellow-- 

 

00:36:38    Zach

We had a great stretch of like three sunny days in December after that, which is rare for here. But we were just like, yeah, chilling by the window, in the sun. 

 

00:36:51    Alyssa

It also worked out great because that Monday, the next day, was a snow day for Sagey's school, because of the snow storm. And so he came back with Nana at like 9, and just like came in and met Mila, and we had a welcome gift for him from her. 

 

00:37:08    Mila

[baby coos and grunts]

 

00:37:10    Alyssa

Oh, hi. Are you trying to get cozy? Are you going to go back to sleep? Or you want to nurse some more? It was a little doctor kit, like a first aid kit, which he's been obsessed with for a little while now, is like being a doctor and doing doctor kit stuff. And he was jazzed and he went right to work doing her first checkup and she has had band -aids on her clothes ever since.

 

00:37:42    Zach

Yep 

 

00:37:43    Alyssa

He does a checkup on her every single day.

 

00:37:45    Zach

Every day. He'll do one later today when he gets home from school.  

 

00:37:52    Alyssa

Correct. And Rach and Erica were here those first couple days, which is so helpful for me, they do a lot of like me care-- helped me take my first shower and and yeah, just like make sure I'm taken care of. And Sagey also loves them. And so they were able to like step in and help with him and play with him. But he was home that first day, the Monday, and then he had school Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday that week, which was perfect for him because he had like school. 

 

00:38:25    Mila

[Baby bleat]

 

00:38:28    Alyssa

He had school to go to that was regulating, where he could like be in routine, and have his like normal school environment when home felt not the same.

 

00:38:43    Zach

Yeah yeah 

 

00:38:43    Alyssa

When he was in transition we have found still like, school days are really regulating for him 

 

00:38:48    Zach

Yeah

 

00:38:48    Alyssa

 Which made the winter break where he was home for 12 straight days really challenging when she was like two weeks old

 

00:38:56    Zach

Yeah. Yeah that was long. 

 

00:39:00    Alyssa

Yeah because everything was already like in transition at home and then we're like and you're home for 12 days and it's Christmas. 

 

00:39:07    Zach

And it's cold outside but there's no snow so it's just cold. 

 

00:39:11    Alyssa

Yeah, that was tough. 

 

00:39:13    Zach

Yeah, for sure. 

 

00:39:15    Alyssa

But yeah, all in all man, three and a half hours from first contraction to baby in arms. 

 

00:39:21    Zach

Yeah. 

 

00:39:21    Alyssa

I've had some people ask me like how do you feel about that, about it being so fast that that for a lot of people can be jarring and I love it.  I want to be in labor for the least amount of time possible. I think especially knowing I was taking the castor oil, I was in the headspace of ready to go into labor, anticipating it so it didn't, not like, oh, it caught me off guard and then the baby was just here. We had a plan in place, he was over at Nana's, and my body loves castor oil. Or maybe my babies hate it and so they just leave, whatever. 

 

00:39:57    Zach

You were just so done being pregnant that you were like, let's go! 

 

00:40:06    Alyssa

Lets go! You did joke about hanging Pat Mahomes, like I, so I watched The Quarterback, like Netflix series, and fell in love with Pat Mahomes from this. And you were like, I can hang up pictures with his face, with like him yelling, like, let's go, let's go. 

 

00:40:24    Zach

Yeah, I still think that would have been a good idea. 

 

00:40:27    Alyssa

I didn't look up at all, but I think, I like what you're doing. That was the energy I was bringing to the birth. 

 

00:40:34    Zach

I sensed that, yeah. 

 

00:40:35    Alyssa

Yeah, good call. Yeah, and now we have Mila. Mila Frances Campbell. Frances is Zach's mom's name, and I really liked the name Camila, but Camila Campbell felt like too much alliteration for me. Went with Mila. We had a couple other names in the arsenal, and when I was in transition with her, like Mila was just like the name in.--

 

00:41:00    Mila

[baby toot]

 

00:41:00    Alyssa

 Oh, nice. I hope the mic picked that up. 

 

00:41:03    Zach

Oh, it for sure did. 

 

00:41:07    Alyssa

Oh yeah, there's more Mila? You got it, girl? [Laughing]. You're so cute. Yeah, Mila was just like in my brain while I was in labor, and so we ran with it. And it's perfect. You're the perfect little addition to our family. 

 

00:41:27    Zach

She is. 

 

00:41:28    Alyssa

Yeah, we love ya. And Sagey loves you. He's been very sweet with you. And you've been very patient with him. Yeah. Yeah. 

 

00:41:39    Zach

That's the story. 

 

00:41:41    Alyssa

That's the story of you coming into this world, sis. Yeah, I look forward to hearing people's questions and if you have curiosities about our birth, but also just like home birth or anything like that. I will say, like, I don't think I'm the crunchiest human on the planet, and for Vermont I'm very much not. And so I think, like, I don't necessarily fit the bill of like a lot of home birth vibes. I think sometimes it's way crunchier than I am. I'm like, yeah, I'll take the castor oil. You know, it's not everyone's approach. But yeah, I am happy to answer questions if you want to, we'll put up a post on Instagram, you can pop on over and ask questions. All that jazz. Shoot me a DM if you'd rather do it that way and happy to chat. Thanks for coming Earthside, Mila Bean. Thanks for being so speedy. Yeah, we love ya. 

 

00:42:44    Alyssa

Thanks for tuning in to Voices of Your Village. Check out the transcript at voicesofyourvillage.com. Did you know that we have a special community over on Instagram hanging out every day with more free content? Come join us at @seed.and.sew, S -E -W. Take a screenshot of you tuning in, share it on the gram and tag @seed.and.sew to let me know your key takeaway. If you're digging this podcast, make sure to subscribe so you don't miss an episode. We love collaborating with you to raise emotionally intelligent humans.