Voices of Your Village

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Why You Don't Need to Hide Your Feelings From Your Kids

Uncategorized May 19, 2022

Do you ever feel like you can’t have hard feelings in front of your child? When you get frustrated or sad do you feel like you have to hold it all in so that you don’t upset them? Often in the world of respectful parenting there is this idea that parenting with intention means always being calm and happy with our kids. 

 

Here’s the thing, the goal is not that kids think we don’t have emotions. The idea that we’ll never be triggered or feel hard things in their presence, that we'll just remain calm at all times is unrealistic and not how our bodies are designed. Kids know when we are feeling something hard whether we tell them or not. They pick up...

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The Key to Ending Power Struggles With Your Child

Uncategorized May 19, 2022

One of the biggest challenges of parenting young children is navigating their intense need for autonomy and independence. Often this leads to power struggles where we find ourselves putting more and more pressure on the child to comply, and in turn they push harder and harder against us.

When we can move away from focusing on compliance and move towards connection, understanding, and collaboration, we can put the power struggles to bed.

Choice theory outlines two options and the key is that neither of them is punishment. The adult setting the boundary has to be okay with both choices so you don’t end up mad if your child doesn’t choose the one you wanted.

This might sound...

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What to Do When You’re About to Lose Your Cool

Uncategorized May 19, 2022

We’ve all been there. The stresses of adult life seem to be piling one on top of another. The laundry is piling up, you’re about to miss a work deadline and you’re barely going to have dinner on the table before bedtime.  You manage to get dinner on the table and go to round up your family, only to discover that your kiddo has knocked over a plant and there is dirt all over the carpet. The carpet that you just vacuumed yesterday, after everyone was in bed, before you collapsed on the couch, completely spent. And in the scheme of things, you know that this isn’t a huge deal. It’s par for the course with young kids. But still, in this moment, it feels...

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Respectful Parenting IRL: Changing Your Perspective

 

00:00:04    Destini

"Literally our only job to keep them off the bench. The only thing we have to do, the only requirement is practice. That's it."

 

00:00:14    Destini

"Even though I am very intentional about, not projecting that. It still comes up." 

 

00:00:25    Destini

"Something's up and we're going to have to, we would be better trying to work that out in practice, then trying to do it right now." 

 

00:00:35    Destini

"Slowly going down that emotional ladder with her. She was slowly coming down. But in my mind, I was like, I'm tired as hell." 

 

00:00:44    Destini

"We want to be...

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Respectful Parenting IRL: Parenting a Child with Down Syndrome



00:00:03    Nao

"You know, it's a parent's natural instinct to want to talk to them. Like, what's wrong, what's wrong talk to us?" 

 

00:00:14    Nao

"I think it's important for me to remember to have that same expectation of communication for myself towards the kids too." 

 

00:00:25    Nao

"You know, the internet and social media. There's just so much information.  coming in." 

 

00:00:34    Nao

"We want to teach her that she can't just physically express her frustration."

 

00:00:42    Nao

"That translates to love for others as s well  her confidence in herself and her love for herself."

...

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Respectful Parenting IRL: Parenting with Disabilities

 

00:00:04    Jessica

"Like as soon as our adrenaline is activated or cortisol spikes. It's really hard to be a respectful parent." 

 

00:00:16    Jessica

"And I think I've been because I have to spend so much time resting. I've like been training for this my whole life." 

 

00:00:26    Jessica

"Verbal redirection is not all that effective when they're flooded." 

 

00:00:33    Jessica

"And his sensory needs became more than just touching me. Then it became much harder." 

 

00:00:42    Jessica

"And I guess it's giving myself enough compassion to believe that that is louder deep in him than the...

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Respectful Parenting IRL: Enjoying the Journey

00:00:04    Marcela

"Where did it come from? Do they come from the expectations that my parents had about me?"

 

00:00:15    Marcela

"That mistakes are not a reflection of my character. "

 

00:00:27    Marcela

"They're not giving us a hard time. They're having a hard time themselves." 

 

00:00:36    Marcela

"So, mom guilt is always there. But what do you do with that mom guilt?" 

 

00:00:43    Marcela

"And that's the fruit of the work. I've been doing with him for the last five years. "

 

00:00:55    Alyssa

Hey there. I'm Alyssa Blask Campbell. I'm a mom with a Master's degree in Early...

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Respectful Parenting IRL: Managing Your Energy Throughout the Day

00:00:02    Trystan

"They are going to feel, even if they don't know consciously, they're going to feel you're not at peace with this and ready to say sorry for it."

 

00:00:14    Trystan

"I've done all the things, it doesn't matter, he doesn't care about my respectful parenting. He's going to have a meltdown no matter what." 

 

00:00:25    Trystan

"Okay, and my energy's where, you know, I'm winding down. I got five more minutes left in me. And then I'm going to go have some me time."

 

00:00:35    Trystan

"I'm just supposed to like, keep getting up every day, keep taking my kids to school." 

 

00:00:45    ...

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Respectful Parenting IRL: Raising Black Boys

00:00:03    Jamie

"It was a human guttural reaction from a black parent surrounded by non-Black families."

 

00:00:14    Jamie

"The things we have to think about, that being one of maybe like five Brown families in a school of probably 800 families."

 

00:00:25    Jamie

"And it got to the point, I'm a yeller...ugh, I'm a yeller. I said it, and I'll own it, and I'm working on it"

 

00:00:35    Jamie

"Because if you push too hard, it's very different than your friend pushing too hard."

 

00:00:43    Jamie

"While I don't always see the behavior immediately, the times that I do are just really cool." 

 

00:00:55...

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